The Times says, “The average woman worries about her body every 15 minutes, even more frequently than men think about sex.” What are we so worried about? In an internet survey of couples, Ruth Nicholas found that women in relationship rated themselves as less attractive than their partners rated them, and they often failed to pick up on the qualities that their partner found attractive in them. Ruth concluded that we women are still our own worst critics. The man in your life doesn’t see the same flaws you do – or if he does, he doesn’t really care. In his eyes, you’re a complex creature who makes his life richer – not a collection of imperfections. With that said, then why are four out of every ten British women constantly on a diet?
If we start trying to find confirmation of our beauty we look to the media images all around us and we almost always find ourselves coming up short. All these images are not showing true beauty, they are showing impossible standards that mere mortals cannot hope to live up to. They are designed to maximise profit for manufacturers and they form a trap we all fall into.
Simply put, modern images of beauty are designed for profit! A woman insecure about her body will by more beauty products, more new clothes, more new diet aids. The diet industry alone is estimated to be worth $100 billion [US] a year. Giving in to your insecurities on weight or looks just makes you vulnerable to those who seek to exploit them. Yet does this make you more attractive to men, more likely to achieve fullfillment in your reletionship? When a woman worries about her waist-line or bra size, are they not simply conforming to the media’s idea of how they should look rather than what a man’s idea of true beauty is? But what about men? There is a newly classified medical disorder, which for now is restricted to men, called the “Centerfold Syndrome” and is characterized by prefering to look at pictures of women rather than interacting with the real thing. By rating women in terms of their body parts, size, shape, quality etc, together with a fear of intimacy. And this is not a harmless pastime, it has been reported as responsible for the growth in divorce rates and spousal abuse.
It is important to think then that media images of beauty are not only impossible to live up to but they also contribute to the collapse of intimacy between men and women. Simply winning your battle with the diet is not enough, it could just mean that finding the new, slim, you has turned you from the whole woman you were seen as into a two dimensional image. Your man will equate you with a magazine or TV picture rather than the real person you were to him. In trying to fall into line with the modern image of beauty you are in fact risking the breakdown of your relationship.
Finding a real relationship holds the key to happiness and fulfillment. When you find someone you can relate to and fall in love, that’s when you true beauty starts to shine. It will be a relationship based on a genuine connection. If it isn’t then it isn’t going to be a good relationship and is probably destined to be doomed. So what if you do have great tits and a slim waist, that could be your downfall, leading to a string of superficial, using men.
What do people who love us find attractive in our body? Be open to the answer – it may surprise you! It surprised many of the people in Ruth’s survey. In our quest to express our true beauty – men are our allies, not our enemies. Through our deep bonds and friendships with men, we can learn more about what makes us uniquely beautiful. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder! When someone is connected to you, then they are able to help you to see the true beauty within.
This article is written is an examination by Michelle WalterMichelle Walter, Origin Psychic’s leading expert in emotional issuesemotional issues and relationshipsrelationships. In it she examineshow men and women look differently at their bodies.